she is a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. she has been known to remodel train stations on her lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. she translates ethnic slurs for cuban refugees, she writes award-winning operas, she manages time efficiently. occasionally, she treads water for three days in a row. she can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and can cook thirty-minute brownies in twenty minutes. using only a hoe and a large glass of water, she once single-handedly defended a small village in the amazon basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. when she’s bored, she builds large suspension bridges her yard. she enjoys urban hang gliding. on wednesdays she repairs electrical appliances free of charge.  years ago she discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. she has been caller number nine and has won the weekend passes.

she is maddie graham.